flexagon: (Default)
[personal profile] flexagon
Last week I went to view the mountains! No, not really. You'd just think that from the name of the town I visited, where my company is based. I had a good visit, and kept things simple by avoiding most social obligations and simply getting a massage on Wednesday to get my dose of physical touch.

On the flight back I got great news from the minion whose fate was hanging in the balance in my last corporate-whining post: he's found a job in his new office, helped along perhaps by my own letters to his soon-to-be-manager. Which means that my bumbling (and the director's bumbling) didn't ultimately cost him his job, and he's not lost to Zillian just because he's lost to my team -- which now happens at/around the end of October, rather than in two weeks. My relief practically made me melt on the plane.

In weirder news, [personal profile] norwoodbridge went from an OKC hello chat to "yeah, I liked her, we had sex!" with a new person while I was gone. I spent about a day having no idea how I felt about that, because I don't always access my emotional side too well while on a business trip (and I hadn't seen [personal profile] norwoodbridge for a week and a half at that point, so he wasn't feeling very real either). I was pleased a day or so later to find that I felt fine: the new girl seems cool, the whole thing is reasonable, she lives far enough away that she can't be, uh, super spontaneous in a way that would bother me. Basically I know Norwood's been wanting a new thing and this new thing seems good. I might even be compersing, mildly? Too early to say, but this very initial response seems decently in line with, I guess, being the person I'd like to be. More generous. Not so damn scared all the time.

([personal profile] heisenbug also has a first date on Thursday. The poly network is really hopping.)

I finished The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet, a lovely SF book that focuses on the humanity of the characters (yes, even the alien ones) and generally satisfies. I foresee it making an appearance around Christmas for certain people who like it character-driven, and I also foresee its sequel arriving at my door in a couple of days. I'm trying to think what to compare it to... it has a small cast of specific characters kind of like Starfish or The Sparrow, but its characters have a warmth and depth more like The Book of Strange New Things or Never Let Me Go. At any rate, recommended.

musing: my look

Sep. 16th, 2017 04:49 pm
[personal profile] tarobun
I've decided my "look" is black and pink, and some gray. Too bad I never go shopping!

I still need to get an ear piercing and have no idea what I would tattoo on myself. But I'd love to have some streetwear clothing. :x

Dream a little dream of me

Sep. 16th, 2017 10:25 am
quantumcupcakes: (Indeed)
[personal profile] quantumcupcakes
I've never been one for nightmares or bad dreams. I've never even really remembered my dreams, I have fuzzy recollections in the morning but never anything vivid or memorable.

I went through a phase of fairly bad nightmares in my early teens after my mother died but I suppose that's to be expected, all things considered.

Last night though my sleep was haunted by nightmares. I can't recall anything specific other than a feeling of fear and panic, lots of running and being chased. I slept terribly because of it, and am feeling quite sluggish today.

My husband has been teasing me about it - says I'm not allowed to watch any more horror film. We went to see IT last night and I'm not completely convinced the film was to blame. Maybe it was and combined with the stress of the last couple of months.
IT was a bloody brilliant film though, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. It was delightfully creepy. I'm also left wondering if we have the book. I'm not even sure we have any Stephen King

Then again he was also awake with me at 4 am and cuddling me back to sleep. That was the only time I woke him up, thankfully. And he did let me sleep in this morning while he and our girlfriend went to the supermarket.

They've just got back and I'm enjoying a breakfast of peach slces and yoghurt, with a mug of coffee. It's making me start to feel a little more human, thank god.

Today we are working on turning one of the rooms into a 'library' of sorts. We've decorated it and got carpets in. Today will be mostly about putting up bookshelves and getting the books up. Monday the couch and chairs are due to be delivered.

untitled #1

Sep. 13th, 2017 04:52 am
[personal profile] tarobun
Sorry for not posting in a while! I do have things to say and share, but it just takes too long to spend the time, especially when I find it hard to manage time and juggle different things in life already. My vacation was nice. I'd like to expand and write more, but it's the same issue. ^

I saw some people on my reading page were just numbering their entries, which seemed like an attractive way to sidestep having the name each post every time. But I didn't start my posts by doing that, and there are some entries which seem to be different in type than others (like some are just pithy musings and others are real posts) so I'm just going to label some posts untitled and number them when I'm lazy and no title seems forthcoming.

Disclaimer: this post may be hard to follow because of unintuitive flow and commentary, and I won't have time to edit it to make more sense to others for a while.

---------------------

Guess what time it is? It's 4:57 a.m.! (By the time I post this, it will be past 5 of course.) That was stupid, tarobun. I know that, so I'm going to acknowledge it and move on.

To give some context, my co-worker June gave me a spare steam access key to a dating sim game.*/** Why did you do that, June? It makes me deciding to make convo with her in the company instant messenger seem like a fatal move full of portent in retrospect. I'd lost stream towards the end of the day because I had stayed up late the night before to get some errands done (for once, being productive when staying up late instead of the other way around).

Ironically, because of that decision, I've neglected my sleep again, but this time for far more typical and dismal reasons. Sure, part of it was that it's titillating (get it?) to simulate interaction and achieve steamy scenes with 2d girls. Gosh, sorry you didn't know I was so trivial when you subscribed to posts. :p But really, the other bigger part of it is that the simple mechanics of a game which gives and feeds into a short-term gratuitous loop is enough to hook into my simple brain and hold it hostage when common sense ought to prevail.

Games in general, as well as other distraction methods like anime and manga, are generally a bad idea for me. I won't know when to stop, and I just won't stop, with each moment stretching into the next until I'm too far gone in the wrong territory (or hour of the day).

---------------------

When I finally did get around to stopping my clearly ill-thought-out behavior, it was 4 a.m. Basically, from 7 p.m. to 4 a.m., that was what I did. :>

A couple repercussions to mention:
- I did not reply to my Facebook recruiter, so it's going to be at least 2-3 days since she emailed me; and I should get back to her not only with times for my initial interview, but also my resume which I still need to update.
- I did not reply to a semi-professional lunch (for networking reasons) arrangement I had initiated with a casual acquaintance, so there will be a lapse of one day in my communications
- I did not do research to keep momentum going in a conversation about a get-together I am arranging wth some of my friends.
- The most immediate issue for concern: I'm supposed to give a presentation*** today for team bonding sort of thing; I need to finish it, and then figure out how to wing it to present it.

Due to the last point, I can't belabor this post too long.
I'm also a bit sorry -- I can't imagine why anyone would want to read these sorts of details about my life. (It's more of a catharsis post than anything else. I could have written it to myself and reduced it to "That was stupid. Some things now: [above list]" but I don't like having notes lying around in various places so I opted to write it in an entry here instead.)

I showered to reset my state. I'm going to have to work on the presentation now -- thank god I rough drafted it last night in my moments of productivity -- and pull through the rest. Definitely, I'll be pretty tired and in a poor state to enjoy the day's plans (today is slated to team bonding agenda, which normally would be fine enough but now will be a long day due to my choices). Don't know how I will stay awake through other people's presentations, and a team dinner/movie afterwards. Do you have a habit of sabotaging yourself with ill-timed poor behavior? If so, we have something in common.

---------------------

My final comment is that you'll see with this quickly-written post why I like the asterisks footnotes I use in most of my posts so much -- my unedited writing has tons of parenthetical asides and I use those footnotes to try and circumvent that. ;)

That's all for now, I'll leave it here like this until next time.

* The game was HuniePop, if you must know.
** June is into anime waifus. I was recommending Riveira: The Promised Land to her and she then offered this key.
*** Not a serious presentation, it's supposed to be for fun. But still, I don't like being unprepared.
flexagon: (like smiley)
[personal profile] flexagon
But wait! A few good things happened this week, too!

I went on a date with a bitsy little girl (woman yes, of course, but she's so little... seven inches shorter than me, and nine years younger), and she took me back to her place and got me high and kissed me. So nice. And if I sounded a little bit passive there -- well, you say lazy fuck, I say aikido master. :-) It was pretty chill but the way is open for more dates, either double or just us, after my business trip.

I've also really been enjoying playing Open Sorcery, on my phone. It's a text-based adventure game that is geeky, queer-friendly, sweet and nasty by turns, and very replayable (with about 10 endings, and the opportunity to subvert pretty much every goal). My favorite aspect by far is that it's possible to make friends with almost all of one's supposed enemies, even the final boss, though there are tradeoffs. Definitely recommended.

Dang it. I know there was a third thing, and it wasn't just the new Tori Amos album. Oh, yes, [personal profile] coraline helped remind me: it was seeing the new 7 Digits show and having it include a tall skinny girl! I don't usually think of my body type being underrepresented, but in circus it kind of is, because smaller is better for both flying and handbalancing. This girl had a rhythmic gymnastics background though, and was super flexible, and did silks and an awesome hoop/contortion act with her long, long legs looking fantastic. And there was a handbalancing act, too.

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